I want to give up! How about you? How often do you feel this way?
I was going to give up on my PhD, my workouts, my business, public speaking, house projects… the list could go on and on. It seems it is a daily battle. Perhaps hourly. Some of us want to give up on it all! Things can look hopeless.
Just the other day a friend of mine told me he felt he was in a chess match where it was now clear he was two moves away from being in checkmate – and there was nothing he could do about it.
How do you deal with this hopeless feeling we can get on projects, and even in life. We all face it. Steven Pressfield calls it the RESISTANCE. A great name for it. I just call it the “quitter inside me.”
Here is How I Silence the Quitter in Me
1. Put it in writing. I have to state my intention of what I want in writing. Something magical happens when you move from idea to paper. This year I have started blogging – again. (Discipline is being willing to start over indefinitely.) So just now, I have added the email signup on the blog and my goal is to get to 200 people signed up. Yes ,it is in writing. And it sounds simple enough. I have even done this before with other sites. Perhaps a small goal, but something that got me moving. So now, I have written the goal. Hey – you can help me by signing up on the right side of the page!
2. The why. It has to be my why. Too often we live the why of our boss, friends, parents, or even our spouse. I must have something that drives me. Why is a powerful thing that moves you off dead center and keeps you going.
When I was at the Platform Conference, Michael Hyatt asked us all to write down the reasons we cannot quit. He said, “define what is at stake.” This was a powerful exercise. It first I wrote that I would not make as much money. But, as I wrote it, it felt empty. It was a lie. I was not driven by money (this even surprised me). I kept writing until I got to a why they really mattered to me. I kept writing until the reason was real. The last thing I wrote (which is now circled in my notebook) was “I would miss out on impacting the lives of others.”
For me the why of my goal is because I love to help people discover and chase their passion. To do so, I meet with people, speak to people, and teach people on a daily basis. But I have a limited amount of these things I can do, so to help more people without sleeping less, I want to reach out via a blog, speaking, and podcasting. It is my why – because this is what I love to do and I want to expand how effectively I do it.
But without the why, it is just a fleeting thought and the first hint of resistance will find me quitting.
3. The plan. Once I know what I intend to happen and have a big enough why to drive me, I can then make a plan. Does not have to be powerful, but I know for everything I want to do there is a formula. Someone has done it before. So I seek wisdom of those who have gone before me and mimic their efforts. I was in such a meeting this morning. The plan is written based on this wise counsel. But the focus of my energy is always on the NEXT ACTION.
4. The schedule. The only way to make it happen is to schedule it. And yes, this is true for everything. I must be intentional and put it on my calendar. I have time on my daily calendar to work on my goal. Even writing this post is on my calendar.
5. The morning. If you want to get something done, do it in the morning. Period. For me, I have two morning appointments. First is my time for devotion and working out, and second is my time for social media and blogging. By 10AM I am done with both for the day. If you want more inspiration on this, check out What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast.
Question: How do you silence the quitter in you? You can leave a comment by clicking here.